Asklemmy

What's your relationship like with your grandparents?

My grandma passed last weeek. I've been thinking about my relationship with her and my other grandparents. My family and I visit them on holidays and they were nice enough. But I don't feel like I knew my grandma or know my other grandparents.

I think my family is weird maybe? Idk it's the only one I know lol. We'd talk about tv and movies we've watched recently. What they watched. Tell the grandparents what was going on in our lives. Ask about what was going in grandma and grandpas life. Mostly get answers like "same old same old", tales of doctor visits, or NCIS.

But like who are they as people? What were dreams when they were young? what adventures have they been on? what sparks joy in their life? What struggles have been through?

Like if I had to describe my grandmother I'd say she was a nice, pleasant lady who was mostly kind and liked cats, but not enough to get her own, just fed the neighbors cat. A description a stranger could give after meeting her talking for a bit maybe.

Looking back at my relationship with my grandparents, it all feels surface level. I never shared any of the hard shit I was dealing with, never really vulnerable around them. They were never vulnerable around me.

I don't know many details of their life beyond career, maybe the places they've lived, pets they've owned.

Maybe that's a reflection on my parents. We were never really vulnerable with each other about stuff, when someone was it was often mocked. My parents were not good parents a lot of the time. Who knows maybe that's a result of their parents?

But umm yeah, Lemmy what's your relationship like with your grandparents? Are you real close? Do you know them well, or more like a coworker you enjoy occasionally small talking with? Or rotten shitbags? I wish I knew my grandma better.

why is it that when i post on some communities i cant see my post on the community but apparently at least some other people can see and respond to it?

example is when i posted on the kgatlw community about the band called doom gong recently.

is it some kind of federation shenanigans like when a server is not federated with one but the other one is?

...now that i think about it, this is probably something thst has been asled before, i should have checked before posting this but ill still post anyways.

another question, if that is the case then is there a easy way to tell which servers are federated with which?

fixed: turns out hide read posts setting was enabled so i didnt see them, i had to change it on through the browser login, changing it in the voyager app for lemmy didnt change it.

Most people realize too late that they didn't have backups of their data or don't realize they can easily setup their own media servers at home. What do you use and suggest? Everything from beginner tech knowledge to advance. TIA

A continuation of my previous post "I have 100 chokers, What is the best way to store them?".

Now that I know how to store them, via a giraffe plushie (thank you @ALostInquirer@lemm.ee!), I need to figure out how to wash them.

Washing them all would take far too long, but I can't simply add them into a delicates bag and toss them into the washing machine because I fear the cheap metal hooks will fall apart / corrode.

How should I was them all?

Sample Choker:

Assuming it’s due to corrosion, am I correct that that whole section of exhaust should be replaced? I usually source my parts myself if I can. Any recommendations or things to avoid?

Self care? Chores? Try and fix every problem with your life before you have to go back in less than 24 hours to the job you hate?

I don't want to get arrested or something for seeding/downloading torrents.

I am 20 years old and studying to become a sculptor. The problem is that... Eh... I‘m not really into it. Not that I dislike it, it‘s just that I don‘t really care that much about sculpting. And the issue is that I kind of know what I want to do with myself, but I am also too afraid to do it. I‘ll try to explain. Ever since I was little, I was an artsy person: I drew a lot, and got actually really good at it (I mean it, "academic art" type of good), finished one art school, then another and then got into the university that I am currently in. The thing is that studying here for more than a year got me thinking if I really want to pursue this career: I feel like wasting time, I live abroad and am sometimes homesick (my granny now lives alone), my dad keeps on telling me that he has no hopes for me (props to him for helping me financially tho), I started popping pills from time to time etc.. Meanwhile, this summer two of my closest friends got me into fashion design (one of them is currently studying to become a fashion designer): we did some clothes together, I sketched a bit for both of them/with them and actually enjoyed it a lot. And they‘re some actually talented guys; they know their way around a bit and are inspired by trap and punk culture. It just feels different. And I do realize that it might be a passion of mine only for a few months or so, but still... I also care about the way I look a lot more now than I did a few years back. I do not care about sculpting nearly as much. The question is: should I leave sculpting and try to get into fashion design; or should I finish studying here for another two years and see what‘s next?

P.S. My dad will, most likely, get mad at me for leaving sculpting. On the other hand, I might stay in the same university and study for a fashion designer or come home and do the same thing. Hmm... I‘m not sure.

Hope this is okay to post here but I noticed some problems coming from what I assume is the ECM of my car overheating, speed gauge going crazy, engine stalling/shutting down but acting normal after a few minutes to cool down and weirder part no error codes. So I looked under the hood and noticed it only relies on a heatsink and the position is close to the engine itself (about 1 foot away), nothing connected to the radiator and I doubt any good airflow is getting to it. Pair that with the 113°F weather I'm experiencing everyday, I can see why it'll overheat and shutdown to protect itself. I never opened one before so I'm a bit worried about doing that but I'm sure there's some kind of thermal interface that can be changed. Doubt that will address the main issue though, so I'm also thinking heat shield and if i can fit it even a PC fan. I'm open to suggestions on other ideas though

So TLDR: I'm wondering if you guys have any ideas on how to improve the temperature of the ECM located near an engine in scorching desert heat?

Edit: Thinking the issue might be a faulty TCM instead (kind of a pain with no error codes) still will improve the thermals of the ECM since its kinda a shit design. The duct and heat shield might be a better long term idea so thank you all who helped.

Edit 2: Took 2 months but finally got some codes to trigger after heat cycling while flushing my coolant system, I guess. All the codes I have can be triggered by a faulty TCM so I'm 90% its that. So yayyy I don't have to guess anymore.

I've been donating to the news site Vox for a while now, and all their content has so far been free. I felt kinda bad about blocking the ads on their site and fast-forwarding through all the ad breaks in their podcasts. So in the spirit of actually supporting something I like, I started chipping in a few bucks a month.

But recently, they've started putting some of their articles behind a paywall. Since I was already donating, I automatically have access. But for some reason, I feel like I don't wanna pay anymore. It's not like it costs me more, but there's just something about dontating to a free site vs paying for exclusive content that doesn't feel the same. Maybe cuz I'm not a fan of paywalls in general, so I don't want to support companies that implement them.

Does that make sense? What would you do? And if you're not a fan of Vox, maybe think of some other free service/content, like videos from a streamer or a software project or something.

Can someone write out the text Jake is singing in the russian version, please?

Do you know any artists that make ancient Greek or Roman music, and how can I make these types of music myself?

It's horror movie season in the US and my favorite type is zombies. I also love campy B movies. Watching Dead Snow 2 right now and I think it ranks up there with Shawn of the Dead and Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness.

What is your top pick for whatever genre?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munich_Agreement
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molotov%E2%80%93Ribbentrop_Pact

Recently got banned in a community when I brought it up, when they talked about the latter.

I'm Indian, didn't really have to read too much(on such treaties and other stuff. We do learn about the dates, major groups involved and our own people) about WW1 and WW2 before getting on the internet forums.
But how is it in Western countries?

Also, is the Bengal famine of 1943 taught?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bengal_famine_of_1943
I only got the gravity of the situation after reading about it and seeing pictures on the net.

Are there any other events that should be more known by others, in your opinion?

I hope this is not too political. If it is, do forgive me, I'll delete this.

Edit:
Recently read about the Travancore famine of 1943, that killed around 90,000 people. It happened in my state, Kerala. But I never really knew about it.

I've been mulling over ways I might try to model and shape something to help with my chronic thoracic issues. It's been over 10 years and I've not been able to get effective help. I don't want to talk about that mess and the truly massive scope of what I've done and been through.

I'm not in super lean shape, but I'm not obese by any measure. I'm thinking about trying different ways to stiffen the area around rib 5-6. I'm mostly concerned with how to conform to the shape, skin, muscle, and fat as comfortably as possible while applying pressure. I just don't have a well grounded idea for a starting point.

The best I have felt in the last ten years was after I fell and fractured rib 5 and/or 6 at the beginning of May in 2020. I know it was a fracture from the ~3 weeks of feeling needles when I breathed in, like with prior rib fractures. With Covid at the time, there was no chance I was going for a rib xray just to tell me what I already knew. There is nothing to be done for a rib anyways. The swelling from that injury relieved all of the pain I experience in my back. It was the best two weeks I've had. I even had 4 epidural injections before. That was an almost equivalent level of relief, but it lasted less than 3 days.

If I can recreate a similar pressure as from that break, it is a long shot, but it might make me functional. My physicality is quite limited, but I have lots of fabrication and CAD skills. I think I'm in a place where I want to try and make a solution. Major spending is a no go, but I may try modeling a 3d print first as it is the least labor intensive. Otherwise, I might try leather, or worst case I'll use a clay mold and fiberglass or carbon fiber composite to create a form. Advice, experience, approachable reading materials, or examples of what others have created are welcome and what I'm asking for.

I struggle to stay positive and motivated in this kind of project. I have little interest in medical or anatomy, and really struggle with large unknown projects like this, especially anything that could create hope and large disappointments from inevitable iterative failures. I am both extremely close to being healthy and functional, but it is absolutely empirically out of reach even if it is close enough to touch.

This happened to me recently, there's a group of people confusing me for a humanitarian artist because I stood up for her in front of the wrong people, and now I notice my copyrights/trademarks are intertwined with hers because the misconception is socially innate.