this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] ItCantBeThatEasy@lemmy.world 65 points 1 year ago
[–] devious@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

I have done this, and the only thing I regretted is not eating more olives.

[–] fprawn@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Had this for dinner last night. Paired it with some tortilla chips to help round out its nutritional value. Might do it again tonight. It's called The Mediterranean Diet.

[–] Ddhuud@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

It tastes like the Mediterranean too!

[–] 5redie8@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Me eating an entire can of chickpeas with a spoon

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[–] smeg@feddit.uk 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't see how this is a shitpost, it's just unironically a great thing to do.

Yeah, they're delicious, nutritious, and never go bad. Perfect for the man who does not like grocery shopping.

Are the haters imagining people eating the super-salty pimiento olives? I'm talking about the fancy olives that I, as a sophisticated and wealthy bachelor, buy per-pound from the grocery-store salad bar.

[–] Loulou@lemmy.mindoki.com 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's a limit to not exceed though (for me at least :-D )

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE OLIVES JUST SHOVE THEM INTO MY MOUTH OM NOM NOM OH GOD THEY'RE DELICIOUS SO TASTY MMMMMMM GOOD OLIVES NICE OLIVES CHOP THEM UP AND PUT THEM ON PIZZA AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE OLIVES THEN FUCK YOU OLIVES ARE DELICIOUS YOU CAN FUCK OFF BACK TO BIG LINGUINI TRYING TO RUIN THE NAME OF DELICIOUS OLIVES THEY ARE MY LIGHT AND JOY OLIVES ARE SO GOOD I CANNOT HELP MYSELF I WILL EAT ONE OR TWO OR A THOUSAND I AM BECOME OLIVE

[–] Monologue@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 year ago

i'm starting to think that you might like olives

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[–] CapnAssHolo@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'm not falling for this. I think I've read a greentext about doing this and the anon ended up covered in shit sobbing himself to sleep on the bathroom floor

[–] Mikekm@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

People get sick from eating olives? Man I can eat a jar of green olives, pair it with a brick of cheddar cheese and you've got yourself a meal.

[–] kungen@feddit.nu 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah wtf? I'll eat a whole jar of kalamata and have no problems.

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[–] Hyperi0n@lemmy.film 5 points 1 year ago

That was a jar of pickles and it caused him great gastrointestinal issues that resulted in acid like bowel movement.

This reaction isn't normal though.

[–] Scew@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Even just eating like 5 olives makes things extra smooth down the line >.>

[–] havid_dume@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

About 3 months ago I suddenly developed an indefatigable craving for olives. Since then I've eaten about a small jar a week. IDK if I'm pregnant (seems unlikely) or if olives are just a normal part of adulthood, similar to how everyone in college eats a lot of toast on occasion.

[–] doot@social.bug.expert 4 points 1 year ago

tempted to post the classic 4chan pickle story

[–] ro2pa9@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Adult people drown them in martinis. So, Jar a week souds about right. :)

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I came across The Sad Bastard Cookbook on HN. It is amazing and very much in the spirit of this post.

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[–] XEAL@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fun fact: olives are technically fruit.

[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

More fun facts: tomatoes and pineapples are berries.

[–] UnknownQuantity@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Well, pineapple is a bunch of berries fused together.

Unrelated : avocado is a berry.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This means olive oil is fruit juice.

[–] tallwookie@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

olive juice is fruit juice. olive oil comes from crushing the fruit's nuts

[–] angelsomething@lemmy.one 7 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Literally my kids everyday. They fucking LOVE olives. It’s weird. We don’t encourage it and we tell ourselves it’s a phase that will eventually wear off.

It won't. I'm in my late 30s and olives are still the fucking best thing ever.

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

I'm 23 now and olives are still hard drugs to me, once I get started I want to eat the entire stash

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

My mother tells me my uncle would eat nothing but olives for about a year when he was a toddler. He threw a massive fit if they tried to feed him anything else.

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[–] Aagje_D_Vogel@feddit.nl 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah, ate a (large) bunch of green olives in quick succession once. Turned my stomach into Vesuvius during Pompeï's final moments.

[–] thedarkfly@feddit.nl 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

If you have the occasion, try a fresh olive picked from the three. You won't regret it ;)

[–] Risk@feddit.uk 12 points 1 year ago

Why not eat the other too?

[–] Hotdogman@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Why not 2 or 4?

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[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I feel heard.

[–] XTornado@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

Regret? Never with olives 🫒.

[–] steamedhams@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

This reads like the beginning of an I Think You Should Leave sketch

[–] 30isthenew29@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Please🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 Where is Olivehate when I need them??????

[–] Mr_Pap_Shmear@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I have never in my life seen soo much unequivocally olive positivity. What is this place

[–] octoperson@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Are you 30 to 50 feral hogs?

[–] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

How many olives should you eat?

Olive them.

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[–] walnutwalrus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

keto friendly

[–] arefx@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

This is actually a normal part of my life but with kalamata

Oh no, I'm not falling for that idea again. I've learned the hard way (multiple times) that I will regret more than about 20 olives in one go. Too much salt for me.

[–] lasagna@programming.dev 2 points 1 year ago

Can confirm, never regret eating olives off the jar.

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