this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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If you learned that an actor was a serial killer, who would surprise you the least? (Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Walken, Tom Cruise, and Jack Nicholson don't count--everyone knows they're stacking bodies somewhere)

I'm gonna say Chris Pratt. I don't buy that harmless goofy schtick AT ALL

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[–] CoderKat@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I bet Gwyneth Paltrow secretly uses the bones of her victims to create more rocks to put up your vagina.

[–] gavi@literature.cafe 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like she would engage in "holistic cannibalism" or something

[–] drwho@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

Or she'd sideline as a holistic assassin or something.

[–] essellburns@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

New candle scent coming..

"This smells like my latest victim"

[–] ObiGynKenobi@beehaw.org 16 points 1 year ago

Nic Cage for sure. There's a reason that when it was announced he's being added to Dead By Daylight people couldn't predict whether he was a killer or Survivor.

[–] drwho@beehaw.org 11 points 1 year ago

Jared Leto.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago

I would pay money to hear Kristen Schaal deny the bodies in her basement. It would not be convincing.

[–] Ambiorickx@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago

Javier Bardem. He wasn't acting in No Country For Old Men.

[–] SeverianWolf@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago

Kevin Spacey. We all thought he was a great actor playing all those psychopaths, but turns out he was just playing himself.

[–] lemmy@frmsn.space 10 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Not an actor but.. Garth Brooks. Those cold dead eyes, They're hiding the bodies.

[–] thismessisaplace@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

I got friends in crawl spaces...

[–] bbbhltz@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

No way, but Chris Gaines...

[–] Eylrid@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Oh, I got friends in low places, where the cops won't see what I did to their faces, all hid away, and I'll be okay.

[–] thismessisaplace@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

I got friends in crawl spaces...

[–] Dankenstein@beehaw.org 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Jake Gyllenhaal.

If someone were to say that he did anything crazy such as kidnapping circus clowns and tickling their feet while wearing a Bill Clinton mask and yelling "I did not have sexual relations with that woman", I would believe it.

[–] heliodorh@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Every time I see Jake G in something I feel like I'm seeing like 30% of his barely-contained power. Like it doesn't matter what the role is, I feel like I'm watching a dude who is seconds away from a full-blown, atrocity-plagued identity crisis.

[–] Yuletide@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Have you seen Nightcrawler? I think his best film he goes FULL ON in that one and shows how creepy he can really be. Amazing movie.

[–] bucho@lemmy.one 5 points 1 year ago

Just wanted to add in the tidbit that Martha Stewart once dated Anthony Hopkins, but broke up with him after "Silence of the Lambs" because Hannibal Lecter creeped her out so much.

[–] Vidi@lemmy.myserv.one 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Stanley Tucci has been murdering young women for decades as he travels the world. His impeccably put together fashion sense is a clue to his obsessive nature.

[–] argv_minus_one@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

Does the actor have to still be alive? Because if not, Ronald Reagan did more than his share of cutting lives short.

[–] Lemur@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Crispin Glover. No doubt.

[–] lemmy@lemmy.stonansh.org 3 points 1 year ago

I would say mister bean

[–] bucho@lemmy.one 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Xariphon@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Came here for this.

[–] aperson@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] ethd@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Running for your life (from Shia LaBeouf)

He's brandishing a knife (It's Shia LaBeouf)

Lurking in the shadows

Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf

[–] aperson@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf?

[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

Jake Gyllenhaal has that “mostly sane, but not entirely” look. Don’t agree? Watch Nightcrawler. There’s a reason he was cast in that role.

[–] gavi@literature.cafe 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] bbbhltz@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

More power! Arrruh!

[–] bermuda@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Klaus Kinski