this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Infinitenonblondes@lemmy.world 54 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You’re not throwing them at your enemies hard enough.

[–] Kerrigor@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

Healed for -5 HP

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

The crystals, they do nothing!

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Uranium will affect your aura by misaligning your chakras

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[–] renrenPDX@kbin.social 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

@ickplant That's completely wrong. Each rock/mineral has a hidden skill. Once acquired, you have less money.

[–] slicedcheesegremlin@kbin.social 23 points 1 year ago

Some crystals like torbernite and asbestos have a special skill too, called "radiation poisoning" and "lung cancer"

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[–] CarlsIII@kbin.social 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Placebos can still be effective on a person who knows it’s a placebo.

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[–] dannoffs@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There are a bunch of crystals that do shit, like molly and meth.

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[–] ATDA@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

I was a skeptic but a friend who worked at a crystal shop was ALWAYS around them. Even hauling them by the box then two in a matter of months. He was jacked!

/s just in case

[–] LastoftheDinosaurs@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Lol 6 crystal mommies downvoted this

[–] Kerrigor@kbin.social 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Hey, some of those are polestones, and are perfectly capable of storing Stormlight! Just gotta wait for the next hightstorm

[–] tox_solid@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Kelek's breath man, when is the last time you ever heard of a highstorm outside of Roshar?

[–] latewizard@lemmy.one 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Speaking of, when does lemmy get cremposting?

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[–] PM_me_your_vagina_thanks@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Just started the second book, damn good so far!

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[–] alternative_igloo@lemmy.fmhy.ml 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Devil’s advocate time: the placebo effect is incredibly powerful, and for many people it’s all that’s needed.

I'm all for this but it's a slippery slope. People seem to go from using a crystal to get over a small psychological road block to thinking that vaccines cause autism real quick.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Some of them do shit. Specifically, exploit the impoverished adults and children who mine them so that rich Westerners can wear them.

https://www.theguardian.com/global/2019/jun/16/are-crystals-the-new-blood-diamonds-the-truth-about-muky-business-of-healing-stones

[–] Rachelhazideas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What about the healing powers of enjoying yourself with a hobby like collecting a bunch of minerals and just looking at them?

Surely, having a hobby can improve some people's mental health.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

That depends. Is your hobby overrun by charletans using your ignorant faith in easily disproven claims to sell false promises of a better life? Because not only is that detrimental to your mental and financial health, but it is bad for society as a whole as it erodes trust in science and knowledge itself.

People who like shiny crystals decorating their homes aren't a problem. People who spend money they don't have on magic because government doctors are trying to put chips in your brain are a real and existential problem.

[–] Tenthrow@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What about diamond? Those can be traded for large sums of money which can significantly improve your health.

[–] MoltenBoron@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Obsidian isn't even a crystal...

[–] Squids@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Neither is lapis. Like come on, rock is literally in the name people

[–] rockyrikoko@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Jesus Christ, they're minerals Marie!

[–] abbadon420@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Actually, that's not true. Fluorite has a slight healing power for your teeth.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ok, fuck, you got me. Now I have to admit that crystals do have healing power.

[–] TurretCorruption@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Also Quartz is used extensively in electronics, including medical devices that help people with healing or managing their ailments.

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[–] CIWS-30@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago

True, but if you like looking at them and it soothes your stress, that kind of helps. Stress = inflammation after all. Plus, there's the placebo effect, which is surprisingly effective sometimes.

[–] TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Great guide, could you tell me what sort of benefits I might expect from Selenite?

[–] LSNLDN@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know it doesn’t do something I just can’t remember what that something was…..

[–] Mada0@lemmy.fmhy.ml 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No worries I got you. The something was nothing.

[–] Hotchili@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If it doesn’t do nothing isn’t it doing something?

[–] Slowy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Now now, some powerful minerals, when ground into a powder, have the ability to grant the user silicosis

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[–] GallantTheKnight@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have you tried eating any of those before posting this?

Checkmate

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

It's really hard to argue with superb logic and science like this.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

𝓓𝓸𝓮𝓼𝓷'𝓽 𝓭𝓸 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓽

[–] PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Incorrect. Fluorite is made of calcium fluoride. You can mix that shit with some sulfuric acid and make poison acid gas. Don't do this though, it definitely won't cure autism or help you pray the gay away. Hydrogen fluoride is like the complete polar opposite of magical healing powers.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If poison acid gas doesn't cure my gay, nothing will...

[–] adamantris@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

well, it does cure your gay, in addition to curing everything else that comes along with life

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

A permanent cure for life... I like it.

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[–] Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 year ago

And then most of them will be colored resin anyway.

[–] Stilicho@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fetid fluorite will sometimes give off pure fluorine, which is the exact opposite of healing, but I think it's cool though as I normally only get to breathe the fumes of the organic solvents at my lab. I would love to have perfluorinated lungs, so I myself can become the forever chemical.

[–] TheHighRoad@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I was in Sedona, AZ, and I witnessed what I can only call a church service about crystals. Interesting place.

[–] finkrat@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I have a lapis lazuli rock the size of a child's fist on my desk at home. It's a beautiful rock and I'm happy it doesn't do shit

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[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They're pretty good as door stomps.

[–] Random_user@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago
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