Asklemmy

please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao

what the fuck. i need an update post

I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably dieof curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.

Just tell us the reason.

I haven't seen any comments suggesting a plug, so I guess it'll be me. Try using a butt plug.

The best thing you can eat is nothing. Take a 3 day water only fast. Maybe 4 days, start before your trip to get out all the poop ahead of time.

Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So don’t eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.

Or, better yet, don’t even try to do this. You’re very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.

NOSHITGANG

I’d you can eat meat, beef jerky. Generally any high protein, low carb diet will be low output. Not sure about the sweating though.

I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud

Honestly, If u dont want to poop and eat as little as possible i would consider fasting. If zero food is too intimidating - pack some nuts.

I think this is for some sort of fanfic or roleplay, so:

Military food. If you want something old fashioned but not so bland like the european bread take a look at what paraguayan soldiers used during the three aliances war.

lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you're okay, OP!

Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I'm not sure that's the case, for what it's worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! 😂

Canned tuna. It's very dry and almost all protein so most of it gets absorbed by the body and you'll be pooping neat little bricks.

Lemmy history!

I just hope OP posts an update if he made it 3 days or not

This has to be a kink thing, one of the weirder ones. Holding a plug, not sweating, because it is not wished?

Else it is something illegal. Drug mule, crossing a border which would either make the drugs visible, or maybe another crime to not leave obvious DNA traces. No sweating to not look suspicious on control? Not much stuff to disguise the longer travel?

It's about preparation. Approximate gut motility for a healthy adult on a light diet is about 48-60 hours. So, stop eating 3 days before you leave, poop out all you possibly can before your 3 day period starts. Drink about 500ml water per day in the days leading up to the 3 day period. It wouldn't hurt to prep with a mild laxative to remove as much gut content as possible.

Once the timer starts, start eating small amounts only after the first day. For water, about 500ml per day. The good news is that what you pee out can't take much more space than the fresh water you drink.

This assumes you are relatively sedentary. If you perform manual labor during the 3 day period, you'll need to increase water intake, and possibly food intake, to avoid exhaustion.

You said if we guess you'd confirm so here's my attempt.

Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that's why you'd rather not?

It’s ok. He/she/them will understand that people do poop. They aren’t worth it if they can’t Accept this

I was here for... Whatever this is...

8/10 with rice

Is the goal to keep the poop inside your body? If it's allowed to come out and play, you could blend it with gatorade and consume it as soon as possible to minimize time spent outdoors.