this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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how's your week going, Beehaw (beehaw.org)
submitted 1 year ago by alyaza@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org
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hello Beehaw, it's a sleepy morning--and i did not get very much sleep. luckily i have no social priorities so this is not a big deal. currently reading a number of books after completely crashing out of doing that for the entire month of June. i think i can get about 3 in before the end of the month, we'll see

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[–] noeontheend@beehaw.org 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

To cap off one of my strangest days in recent memory, I just got a call asking if I can go to England all next week to accompany a choir tour. Nothing's confirmed yet, and I'd have to pull some major strings to get out of my obligations here. However, I'd really love to go.

Unfortunately, we're moving a few days after I'd get back, so I'd pretty much dump all the packing on my partner. She says I should go regardless, but I definitely don't feel great about that.

I also just finished up a take-home interview project for a part-time software development job. I've been trying to break back into that world for some time now, so I'm very excited about the opportunity.

[–] wildeaboutoskar@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

Choir tours are great fun, hope yyhave a good time!

I should be going on tour with my choir next summer. Looking forward to it

[–] Piers@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She says I should go regardless

Then you should go. No doubt there have been or will be situations where you carry a heavier share of the load between you to support her needs. Equal partnership does not require things to be exactly 50/50 at all times in order to be fair and for both partners to feel supported. It's also important to respect your partner's own autonomous ability to make decisions about what they want for themselves and to express those choices. If they tell you they want to support you in some way that is important to you, you should take them at their word.

[–] noeontheend@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

Well said and agreed. It felt awkward because next week was supposed to be a lighter period for me at work after some sustained intensity, while she's ramping up for a big project due at the end of the month. So all along, we'd planned for me to shoulder more of the packing and last minute planning. I just wanted to make sure that she knew that I appreciated how much extra work I was passing on to her, and to express that I needed to find ways to make it up to her.

However, late last night I found out that the choir's original plan worked out and they don't need me to go at all. So...yeah.