this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 73 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] 001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

In an alternate timeline:

"Yea who's the fuck is Hitler? Himmler is the fuhrer of our fatherland, the Great German Reich, that spans the entire world!"

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What if Hitler was the best case scenario result of time traveler interference? He bungled a lot of decisions someone like Himmler probably wouldn't have. What if WWII is ultimately unavoidable, and every other timeline was way worse?

[–] 001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Maybe Hitler is actually a time traveller that pretends to be a nazi because from his timeline, the german fascist took over the world was way worse so he had to join the nazis to defeat the nazis? Maybe the Holocaust was like 10 times worse in his timeline and he intentionally did stupid decisions to reduce the kill count.

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 1 year ago

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[–] Ertebolle@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Germany was only 75 years old in 1941; for all we know it'd be some totally new country that ended up conquering everything. "Hail to Field Marshal Bing Bong Potatoman, ruler of our great glorious Zambonian Empire"

[–] wolfpack86@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I welcome our new ice resurfacing overlords

[–] LeFantome@programming.dev 2 points 1 year ago

As a Canadian, I always knew the Zamboni’s would take over eventually.

[–] Hextic@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Literally the start of Command and Conquer Red Alert lol

[–] 30isthenew29@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Would there even be an Oppenheimer movie in the new timeline?

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And without Oppenheimer we'd never have Barbie!

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But we'll always have Margot in our hearts!

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Wait wait, I should have said:

We'll always have Margot in our hearts, even if Hitler was alive!

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I feel pretty Aladeen about this.

[–] Ertebolle@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

There'd definitely be a Barbie movie, it's just that all of the other girls in the Barbie movie would also be blond. And at one point a random Eastern-European-looking girl would die in some sort of Barbiemobile hit-and-run while Barbie and Ken giggled about it.