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Ahem, there seems to be some points that are glossed over:
Yes, asap. The zuck wants "the metaberse" to be a thing.
No, they will ddos us now, and defederate later after obtaining the "power users". Google did similar when the more versatile xmpp account was xmpp-compatible-Google-talk that was pushing features and using the xmpp early adopter community as a free q&a while attracting all new users.
One of your assumptions is that lemmy admins are chasing user count. Some instances are chasing user quality. "Getting users while you can" is a good example of this assumption. A approach on forums (lemmy seems like a forum to me) is A community only chases users until critical mass is reached. Then it doesn't matter as the community can maintain content production and quality easily.
You say just "make a Better experience". Making one via open source developers or a team of paid Facebook developers will have vastly different production speeds. The problem being laid at the mastodon open source developers of "just be better" is a fools errand, and Google did a similar tactic of introducing features that were inherently buggy on xmpp only servers. I can only imagine how Facebook will do it so that there is no extra time to do anything other than debug the Facebook users experience. If we remain separate, we can be distinct and not "used". And grow in a manner that doesn't burn out.