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To be fair, "African-American" refers primarily to the diaspora of those of African descent whose predecessors were survivors of genocide during colonial slave trade. Lupita Nyong’o or Trevor Noah aren't African-American as the label is currently understood, because they have a direct, traceable connection to their cultural heritage and ancestors. The label was chosen by Jesse Jackson and other black political leaders in the 80's.

It's not perfect, but I tend to use whatever label others choose for themselves. I've got black friends, African American friends, white friends, Irish, Italian, Jewish, and Kenyan friends. I know a few Indians, but don't know any first nation peoples or natives. At the end of the day we can't control how other people, including conservatives, think about our fellow humans. All we can control is how we view and treat others.

And yes, those who pigeon-hole and denigrate others are sad

Purely in terms of the African American term, that one has a bit more nuance than an othering word.

There was a good intentioned effort to stop referring to people by their physical characteristics as a group. So you started to see asian/Korean/Japanese/Chinese-american, native/indigenous-american, and African-American. It fell apart with white people because the privileged group is more aware that they're not Caucasian or European, they're "whatever they are", so you still see Italian/Irish/german-american, but not European American.
African-American also has a specific demographic usage as roughly "the descendants of African slaves in America", as distinct from "people from Africa".

There's been a reversal, and now it's more expected that people are black or white (but only for those two demographics, never use color for Asian or indigenous people, but maybe brown for middle eastern or the Indian subcontinent, but it's iffy)